dadjournal 1992

"Lying in bed next to Karen several months ago, Alex said, 'I love my mom and my dad, and my own self.' I liked that."

"It seems both Karen and I had a struggle as parents by the end of the week. For me, especially late at night, I become enticed and find myself being especially directive, not enjoying herself or myself. I was able to catch myself one night, and remember that it's not how I'm feeling that matters, but about doing my best to respect this child and her feelings and treasure her vulnerability rather than batter her with some of the cranky stuff I got. And we ended on a good note that night."

"Karen and I almost always give hugs and kisses to each other and to Alex before one of us leaves for work or school. It's an interesting semantic (and relational) situation. Does one ask to receive a hug and a kiss?or does one offer to give a hug and a kiss? The other day I said to Alex, 'I have a hug and a kiss I would like to give to you,' and she said, 'Give it to Mom,' and watched very carefully to see if I followed her directions (I had already given Karen her hug and kiss). Then I chanced to ask Alex if she had a hug or a kiss for me and she said, 'Yes, I've been saving them for you.' I was really glad I asked and risked a possible second rejection. The first was not really a rejection; she seemed mainly interested to see if hugs and kisses were transferable. Tonight, we were headed to the grocery store (Alex and I). Karen was sending us off, I had given her a kiss goodbye. Evidently Alex didn't witness this because after she had given her mother a hug and a kiss, she instructed me to 'give her a hug and a kiss.' I did and she watched me carefully. 'Now tell her that you love her.' I did as she said. We were all quite delighted."

Compare this to a review of the book "1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 1-12":

"The gist of the plan is to enable parents to discipline children, ages 2 to 12, by instituting a system of counting and time-outs, delivered straightforwardly and unemotionally. How the regimen is used to stop undesirable behavior, stimulate desirable conduct, and cope with children's testing is conveyed in Phelan's candid style, filled with common sense, concrete examples, and lots of reassuring humor. Time-and parent-tested, the methods are applied in identifiable situations (pouting, bedtime, dressing) as well in the all-too familiar incidences of children testing and manipulating their elders."

by david rakoff

"The Tortoise, too late, understood that he'd blundered,
when he felt his flesh stabbed and his carapace sundered.
As he fought for life he said, 'Tell me why you have done this,
for now we will surely both die!'
'I don't know!' cried the Scorpion,
'You never should trust a creature like me,
because poison I must. I'd claim some remorse or at least some compunction,
but I just can't help it, my form is my function!
You thought I'd behave like my cousin the crab-
unlike him, it is but my nature to stab.'
The Tortoise expired with one final quiver,
And then both of them sank, swallowed up by the river.

The Tortoise was wrong to ignore all his doubts,
because in the end, friends, our natures will out."




THINGS I AM INTERESTED IN LATELY

Tapirs sit like dogs and don't have an entry in T9




TERROR BIRDS




"If you ever find a bird trying to hang out on the ground, step on it. We don't want its descendants giving birth to giant man-eating flightless babies."



Shapeshifters

Facts

Things You Should Know About Gargoyles

Defecating Gargoyles

The word 'gargoyle' has roots in French and Latin, meaning both 'throat' and 'gurgle.'

"Gargoyles" the television show was probably very boring

Home Depot makes gargoyles but they are mediocre and cartoonish

I have divebombed my friend's mother's computer, tonight, with pictures of gargoyles.

Ultimate practical joke on any city or township or college: Become multibillionaire, donate an unrefusable amount of money in exchange for the authority to install gargoyles in any public domain. Gargoyle highway lamps! Library gargoyles! Gargoyle playground equipment? All very menacing. I think it would be sophisticated and also hilarious.

world's biggest nose