MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE MY MOUTH FILLS WITH FLAMES

I haven't been able to function independently for months!!!!!!!!!!

I am angry I am angry mostly it is just because my mother wants me to wait until the middle of January to get my wisdom teeth out or else do it tomorrow because in between is "Mercury retrograde" my mother's naivety causes me to spit and get fevers. Also it is a deeply angry that exists only because I am sad. I am usually sad and I like it alright but sometimes I notice how angry will bud from this and then I am raging AND THEN I WANT TO BELLOW BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE MY VOICE FISHTAILS WHEN IT REACHES HIGHER THAN SPEAKING VOLUME.

i have been detained and hazy for a long time

ain't it mighty awful mighty sleep and suck until your thumb runs dry

belly of the beast

I wish it weren't Thanksgiving I don't have the stomach for it.

bellow to urchin

"It was enough to make a man pray to God to remove this great, bone-breaking burden of selfhood and self-development, give himself, a failure, back to the species for a primitive cure."

i love lorine

"No matter where you are

you are alone

and in danger--well

to hell

with it."

Things around here are gentle most of the time, Pee-Wee's Playhouse and poetry and rabbits and mice and kindereggs and long drives alone and stealing a wheel of brie to have enough money for crackers. You were talking I was drunk about getting married and I can't remember if we ever decided whether it was possible but I got nauseous on the swings. (maybe, if I start being able to talk around strangers and you promise not to kill yourself at fifty-five "I hope you hear about it and it makes you feel weird") I feel usually bland and we can't get the freezer door to stay shut but I've been making spaghetti and elaborately decorated baked potatoes and snuggling in with my roommates and watching westerns with Matthew and nothing is imminently terrifying. I used to get lonely last year and this year I don't, really.

"I am at rest

You too

hold a doctorate

in Warmth"

the world narrowed to a point