Today I said good-bye to one of my dearest friends. Eugene/Anacalgon 9/Power Lloyd has gone to car heaven. (I'm lying again. I didn't say good-bye because I was in the middle of an episode of Lost [which I mostly hate] and it's actually going to live with my uncle.)

HOWEVER. I now have a new friend and her name is Sally Struthers and you couldn't pick her out of a lineup.

New Car = New Attitude. I am going to plow through life with the voracity of a Furious Reader and the veracity of a bullet. HOW ABOUT THAT. I am not waiting around and if my feelings keep getting accidentally hurt I will eat them like a mother and her baby hamster. I will never get my feelings hurt I will meet my husband on Match.com I will write scathing letters to Cosmopolitan I will go to Africa and feed all the Congolese I will adopt a Vietnamese baby I will eat more vegannaise I will take up oil-painting I will never be alone.